Where's Your Focus
About three weeks ago, I posted the following status: “Why is it so hard to find satisfaction? I feel like a whiny Israelite, seeing God's power and might, yet mad I'm eating manna again.” Immediately, my Facebook account lit up with comments. How sweet it is when people surround you in your time of weakness. They had good, sweet things to say, but, once again, I was not satisfied. I didn’t just want to receive a pat on the back and a “pull yourself together”. I wanted to understand it. I wanted to fit the pieces together and get why I always want something more. Eventually I got over my pity party and went on with life. Or… so I thought.
A week later, some things started happening in my personal life, that, for the protection of those involved I would like to keep as anonymous as possible. Regardless of the circumstance, it really hurt my feelings. I felt like I was being singled out because of a certain thing I do not have. I kept shoving it down and blaming myself for being too sensitive, too dependent, and too needy. But finally it became too much for me to handle on my own. I spent a few nights hurt and upset. I’m so non-confrontational that I absolutely did NOT want to bring it up to any of those involved. I knew there were some constraints on the situation and I had to take that into account, and I don’t think any party involved had or would knowingly hurt my feelings. They’ve shown their love and care for me in multiple ways, and I have no right to hold this one circumstance against them.
I have so many dear and wonderful male and female friends (that are VERY deserving) who have been gifted with the treasure of a loving husband who is a strong leader, or in the man’s case a beautiful and supportive wife. I am also blessed to have experienced many of their beautiful journeys of falling in love and entering into that life commitment. Let me please stress with utmost honesty… I could not be more happy for them! I rejoice with them and praise the Lord that now they are reaching this world with the gospel as a dynamic and transformed couple.
I try not to be the single girl that always complains about just that… being single. But, for all of you who hate ambiguity… that’s my struggle. That’s my “wilderness”. I’ve heard pastor after pastor after speaker after speaker tell me of the benefits of being single, and how contentment will just make life so much easier. Frankly, I get sick of it. Most of the time it's from married people who don't remember what it's like. It’s also hard for me to connect how we were created for companionship, yet we are called to be content and joyful if we don’t get what we were created for. I have a hard time believing people who say that they’re really “content”, because I know the heart's desire for many of them, and I guess I’m cynical in thinking they’re putting up the smile face so that no one digs deep to their deepest hurt and insecurity. But I’m sure there are some very special and wonderful people who are content. I just want to tell you about my walk through this process. Please don’t stop reading… I promise you won’t hear that “single” term much more.
I read “Jesus Calling” by Sarah Young as well as “Daily with the King” by W. Glyn Evans during my quiet time. Well, I had such a sweet time with the Lord this morning. And I think you’ll agree with me that it was a perfect lesson to learn on April 6, 2011 in light of all I have just described. She says this,
“Bring Me the sacrifice of thanksgiving. Take nothing for granted, not even the rising of the sun. Before Satan tempted Eve in the Garden of Eden, thankfulness was as natural as breathing. Satan’s temptation involved pointing Eve to the one thing that was forbidden her. The garden was filled with luscious, desirable fruits, but Eve focused on the one fruit she couldn’t have rather than being thankful for the many good things freely available. This negative focus darkened her mind, and she succumbed to temptation.
When you focus on what you don’t have or on situations that displease you, your mind also becomes darkened. You take for granted life, salvation, sunshine, flowers, and countless other gifts from Me. You look for what is wrong and refuse to enjoy life until that is ‘fixed’.”
So I know this is probably not some new revelation. But this truth was as if God tucked me under the “shadow of his wings” (Psalm 91:4) and I finally understood contentment.
I’ve always thought that the Israelites were just stubborn people who started this whole cycle of complaining about what God didn’t do while He was doing things they didn’t even care to notice. I couldn’t understand how they doubted him, even though “the LORD went before them by day in a pillar of cloud to lead them along the way, and by night in a pillar of fire to give them light, that they might travel by day and by night. The pillar of cloud by day and the pillar of fire by night did not depart from before the people.” (Exodus 13:21-22) But I was reminded today that it’s been a struggle since the beginning of time. Did you catch it above… “Satan’s temptation involved pointing Eve to the one thing that was forbidden her.” (Genesis 3:2-6) It caught my attention that I’ve been focusing on the things that are off limits to me right now. In other words, I’ve made a conscious choice to set my attention on all the things I think the Lord is keeping from me, rather than rejoicing in all the wonderful things He has done for me over the past 10 months.
I am blessed with the awesome opportunity to work with a ministry in a church that I absolutely love. I have friends who encourage me and love and support me through so much. I am given opportunities to do the things that I love like sing, write, and create. I don’t want to take life for granted. I want to soak up every single minute I can and realize what a precious gift my next breath, moment, and conversation are. I don’t want to live with a darkened mind. I want to enjoy life… this beautiful, winding journey called life. I’m gonna stop and smell the roses, even if I don’t have camera to take a picture!
Finally, I want to remind you that we have the victory. Satan may have his wiles and ways to tempt us and discourage us, but he never gets to wear the victor’s crown!
“And when the thousand years are ended, Satan will be released from his prison and will come out to deceive the nations that are at the four corners of the earth, Gog and Magog, to gather them for battle; their number is like the sand of the sea. And they marched up over the broad plain of the earth and surrounded the camp of the saints and the beloved city, but fire came down from heaven and consumed them, and the devil who had deceived them was thrown into the lake of fire and sulfur where the beast and the false prophet were, and they will be tormented day and night forever and ever.” Revelation 20:7-10
___________
Young, Sarah. "Jesus Calling." Brentwood, TN: Thomas Nelson, 2004.
A week later, some things started happening in my personal life, that, for the protection of those involved I would like to keep as anonymous as possible. Regardless of the circumstance, it really hurt my feelings. I felt like I was being singled out because of a certain thing I do not have. I kept shoving it down and blaming myself for being too sensitive, too dependent, and too needy. But finally it became too much for me to handle on my own. I spent a few nights hurt and upset. I’m so non-confrontational that I absolutely did NOT want to bring it up to any of those involved. I knew there were some constraints on the situation and I had to take that into account, and I don’t think any party involved had or would knowingly hurt my feelings. They’ve shown their love and care for me in multiple ways, and I have no right to hold this one circumstance against them.
I have so many dear and wonderful male and female friends (that are VERY deserving) who have been gifted with the treasure of a loving husband who is a strong leader, or in the man’s case a beautiful and supportive wife. I am also blessed to have experienced many of their beautiful journeys of falling in love and entering into that life commitment. Let me please stress with utmost honesty… I could not be more happy for them! I rejoice with them and praise the Lord that now they are reaching this world with the gospel as a dynamic and transformed couple.
I try not to be the single girl that always complains about just that… being single. But, for all of you who hate ambiguity… that’s my struggle. That’s my “wilderness”. I’ve heard pastor after pastor after speaker after speaker tell me of the benefits of being single, and how contentment will just make life so much easier. Frankly, I get sick of it. Most of the time it's from married people who don't remember what it's like. It’s also hard for me to connect how we were created for companionship, yet we are called to be content and joyful if we don’t get what we were created for. I have a hard time believing people who say that they’re really “content”, because I know the heart's desire for many of them, and I guess I’m cynical in thinking they’re putting up the smile face so that no one digs deep to their deepest hurt and insecurity. But I’m sure there are some very special and wonderful people who are content. I just want to tell you about my walk through this process. Please don’t stop reading… I promise you won’t hear that “single” term much more.
I read “Jesus Calling” by Sarah Young as well as “Daily with the King” by W. Glyn Evans during my quiet time. Well, I had such a sweet time with the Lord this morning. And I think you’ll agree with me that it was a perfect lesson to learn on April 6, 2011 in light of all I have just described. She says this,
“Bring Me the sacrifice of thanksgiving. Take nothing for granted, not even the rising of the sun. Before Satan tempted Eve in the Garden of Eden, thankfulness was as natural as breathing. Satan’s temptation involved pointing Eve to the one thing that was forbidden her. The garden was filled with luscious, desirable fruits, but Eve focused on the one fruit she couldn’t have rather than being thankful for the many good things freely available. This negative focus darkened her mind, and she succumbed to temptation.
When you focus on what you don’t have or on situations that displease you, your mind also becomes darkened. You take for granted life, salvation, sunshine, flowers, and countless other gifts from Me. You look for what is wrong and refuse to enjoy life until that is ‘fixed’.”
So I know this is probably not some new revelation. But this truth was as if God tucked me under the “shadow of his wings” (Psalm 91:4) and I finally understood contentment.
I’ve always thought that the Israelites were just stubborn people who started this whole cycle of complaining about what God didn’t do while He was doing things they didn’t even care to notice. I couldn’t understand how they doubted him, even though “the LORD went before them by day in a pillar of cloud to lead them along the way, and by night in a pillar of fire to give them light, that they might travel by day and by night. The pillar of cloud by day and the pillar of fire by night did not depart from before the people.” (Exodus 13:21-22) But I was reminded today that it’s been a struggle since the beginning of time. Did you catch it above… “Satan’s temptation involved pointing Eve to the one thing that was forbidden her.” (Genesis 3:2-6) It caught my attention that I’ve been focusing on the things that are off limits to me right now. In other words, I’ve made a conscious choice to set my attention on all the things I think the Lord is keeping from me, rather than rejoicing in all the wonderful things He has done for me over the past 10 months.
I am blessed with the awesome opportunity to work with a ministry in a church that I absolutely love. I have friends who encourage me and love and support me through so much. I am given opportunities to do the things that I love like sing, write, and create. I don’t want to take life for granted. I want to soak up every single minute I can and realize what a precious gift my next breath, moment, and conversation are. I don’t want to live with a darkened mind. I want to enjoy life… this beautiful, winding journey called life. I’m gonna stop and smell the roses, even if I don’t have camera to take a picture!
Finally, I want to remind you that we have the victory. Satan may have his wiles and ways to tempt us and discourage us, but he never gets to wear the victor’s crown!
“And when the thousand years are ended, Satan will be released from his prison and will come out to deceive the nations that are at the four corners of the earth, Gog and Magog, to gather them for battle; their number is like the sand of the sea. And they marched up over the broad plain of the earth and surrounded the camp of the saints and the beloved city, but fire came down from heaven and consumed them, and the devil who had deceived them was thrown into the lake of fire and sulfur where the beast and the false prophet were, and they will be tormented day and night forever and ever.” Revelation 20:7-10
___________
Young, Sarah. "Jesus Calling." Brentwood, TN: Thomas Nelson, 2004.
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